Sunday, November 27, 2011

Movie Rant: Breaking Dawn Part 1

Breaking Dawn Part One:

 (Found this picture online) Click Here to Fan Art Site

**Note if you are someone that does not want to read anything but a warm fuzzy review and dont want your movie spoiled, please move on. You wont want to read this and it may even make you mad, but everyone is entitled to their opinion; good or bad.**

I had absolutely no intentions of going to see Breaking Dawn Part 1 in the theaters, I would have possibly Redboxed the movie for my $1.50 (or however much they are charging now) . After the disasterpieces that were the second and third movies I figured Breaking Dawn would follow in those footsteps and be a waste of my time and money.  So I was surprised when several of my work friends had gone to see the movie and said “it was SOOOO good” and “it was WAY better then the last movie”. So when a friend begged me to go with her I was cautiously optimistic, that this flick would be better than the last. I should have known better…
This will contain hella spoilers if you haven’t read the books or haven't seen the movie yet.
Ok, that’s not quite a fair statement, it was better than the last movie and here is why.  There was significantly less talking in this movie, if they are not talking then they can’t be participating in horrible dialogue.
Which brings me to what sucked about this movie, a list:
BORING: There were so many awkward contemplative silences in this movie.  I swear it took about 10 minutes for Bella to just get down the damn aisle. Seriously, it doesn’t take that long to walk down the aisle? Then there were all the cut always to the back of the dress for no reason. Wasting time. The honey moon was a montage of playing chess and hiking. Snooze fest! Really nothing of interest happened at all until almost the end when the wolves provided some entertainment, which had to be more than 45 minutes into the movie.  There was more than one person sleeping during the movie when I looked around, because the audience was more interesting than most of the movie.
Wedding: Why did she have a constipated look on her face the whole time? My redo, she would have turned that corner and as soon as she saw Edward her fears and reservations disappeared and she would have at least smiled once.  The dress, eh, boring. And her hair!!! OMG! It was terrible; it was quite possibly the worst wedding hair I have seen in a long time. It looked like she had just gotten out of a convertible or something. What a disaster.  Although, even I have to admit at least the scenery was pretty.
The birthing scene: So, Edward leaves Bella cut open, bleeding to death, paralyzed and on the verge of heart failure for like 5 minutes (again a too long silence), while he sits there and looks at the baby takes his time wrapping the baby, smiling at the baby, showing Bella the baby, basically doing everything but saving her ass and is surprised when her heart finally gives out and it may be too late to save her.  Jacob was standing right there he could have held the baby while Edward worked to save her when she was still alive and heart pumping. I’m just saying.
Vampire = Make Up? : So when Bella does finally change after looking at her dying emancipated body for much longer then actually necessary it turns out that turning into a vampire actually gives you falsie eyelashes and puts your make up on for you. You actually see a pretty metallic bronzish color apply to her eye, definitely made to look like eye shadow. My friend and I were like hey, if turning into a vampire means you’ll never have apply make up again, sign me up! And speaking of falsies why did Edward have on falsies?
Wolves Pow Wow: The voices they give the wolves during their very important pow wow where Jacob leaves the pack were comedic at best. I laughed pretty much through that whole part, cheesy is too good of a word for that part. Although, this section was pretty much the entire third movie, so I guess in perspective the 5 minutes that the wolves amused me was much less then the hour and 30 of movie 3. This was one of the more exciting parts of the movie, they could have spent more time here (as long as they didn’t cheese it up and switch up the voices) and spent less time on “contemplative silences” when nothing was happening. The wolves themselves looked great, the voices, all I can say is wow and laugh.
Jacob and Leah talk: So technically there wasn’t really anything wrong with this part, but it was too short.  When Leah is basically bearing her soul and her pain in the book it is actually one of the best, most emotional scenes of the book and possibly in the series. It’s one of my favorites and one the few scenes that actually sticks out in memory of a book that I read years ago and have read hundreds of books since. So when they basically glossed over this part I was disappointed.
Acting in general: So my friends were saying that the acting was better in this movie then the previous two movies, if it was it was only marginally better. Kristen Stewart is still one dimensional; Taylor Lautner is still over dramatic, although, I think Robert Pattinson may have actually improved.  Although, I still thought the acting in the first movie was the best of the four movies so far. I mean can actors really get worse with the more movies they do? I didn’t believe it, so to prove myself wrong I watched Twilight again last night since it had been several years since I had watched it last. During my re-watch I had to admit to myself that I was not wrong, the acting was better in the first movie, well Kristen Stewart was as one dimensional as always but she had some good moments in Twilight.  Maybe these Twilight actors need to get back to the basics and not get so caught up.
Music: I cannot think of a single good song on this soundtrack, in fact all I can remember is really lame elevator type music.  The soundtrack is usually one of the few good things about this movie series.
So this may not seem like a lot in the long run but when you are watching a movie and more than half of it about bores you to death and several of these are huge components of the movie, it makes it a lot bigger then what you would really think.
Ok Ok, so the movie wasn’t all bad, it did have a few things going for it:
Wolves: The computer graphics have improved. They are more lifelike. Surprisingly realistic. I know most dont like Leah, but I gotta say I like the girl, she is just trying to make due in really shitty circumstances. Seth! How adorable is Seth? Seriously, got to be my favorite wolf. The actor they picked, great job on that one. I just want to put him under my arm and take him home with me to be my little brother.
The Final Fight Scene: The final fight scene was pretty good, the wolves and vampires were putting the smack down on each other. It was all pretty dramatic. For a moment I even thought the wolves were going to take the vamps out. Gasp, but then we wouldnt have a Breaking Dawn Part Two.
The Toast scene: This was pretty funny when the guests were giving their toasts. Emmett’s was particularly amusing the look on Bella's dads face was spot on.  This was one of the scenes that was intentionally funny and it actually worked!  Go screen writers! You got something right. =)
I Didn’t Choose This: When Edward confronts Bella about her decision about keeping the baby. I was actually touched. RobPat (I think that’s his Hollywood nickname lol) pulled out some acting chops for this one. I maybe even teared up a little, ok, so i wasnt close to tearing up but if there was any part that would have brought a tear to my eye then this would have been it.

Sick Bella: So the CGI guys did a FANTASTIC job of making Bella look sick, I CANNOT hate on this one bit. Girl looks to be one foot in the grave. This is one of the best sick girl make overs I have ever seen. Seriously, I wanted to reach through the screen and feed the poor girl or put her out of her misery, which ever comes first. Man oh man, no expense spared on this.


  1. I saw Breaking Dawn last night and I kind of enjoyed it. Although your thoughts doesn't upset my by any means. Like you I did not like New Moon at all-ick, Eclipse I thought was better (sort of). I didn't spend a whole lot of time analysing the film, but I'm sure if I did I would have the same hang ups as you.


  2. I have to say that, while I haven't seen this particular movie, I have to agree with you on the main points you touched on this series as a whole. The acting is horrendous. The movies (especially the soundtrack) are so boring and slow. They skip over things that are actually pretty significant in the book. I remember the first movie had skipped over things that I felt would have made it better, like Bella's visions and more on Alice's past. I stopped seeing the movies after the second one, when I realized it wasn't getting better.

    Kristen Stewart... major dislike. Girl cannot act! She kills the movies, but most of all, I feel like the scripts for these movies are so poorly written. I seriously do not understand how anyone could like the Twilight movies. Anyone who claims these movies are good has officially lost any credibility they had to me when it comes to judging movies.

  3. Holy cow, I'm not sure this movie will actually be rented! From your description, I'm not sure I would be willing to waste the money. And, if it is true to the book, it sucks nonetheless. Sheesh *shakes head* Hollywood will make just about anything, whether crap or not.

    I have to admit it, I LoLed about the makeup! Even though I loved it, I remember how good Brad Pitt looked when he was turned into a vampire in Interview with the Vampire. The same goes for Claudia (totally just blanked on the actress's name! *palm forehead*).

    sinn @ sinnful books